thoughts...
"The whole time, smiling on the outside to cover the pain.
But on the inside all he was trying to do was get away."
life, what is life... why are we being put here in this earth? why are we the only animals given the gift of intelligence? is it because we are the chosen one to travel to the far ends of the universe? or what? WHAT??? WHY??? whats the meaning of life? to work, eat, sleep and shit? or for some others it also includes sex. Intelligence has given us the ability to think. to create. to ponder. to solve problems. to do soooo many wonderful things. but at the same time, it is also the root of all problems... "why did it happen to me?" " why is it always me?" "does anyone experience what i've gone through or am i the special one?" and one of my favourite "why life is such a funny thing... first he gives u everything... making u feel like a million bucks... then all of the sudden, when u think of the shit that others or those that u see on TV is going through suddenly happens to u." yes my dear friends... one thing i have learned is that when u think u are bad enough, there is someone else in a more definitely more shittier state that u are. problems problems problems... the only domain in which i dont have problems is on the basketball court. once again, the court has become my refuge. the best thing that i can think of other than alcohol and mahjong. since i dont like to waste money on booze because i'm low enough in that aspect. same as in mahjong. i guess that leaves me with bball... funny thing... i think thats the best thing my brother has given... he has introduced me to basketball. basketball is all about balance. balance balance balance... why life is so full of unbalanced shitty stuffs. give me problems but never give me solutions... i need SOLUTIONS... but some problems are not even my problem... they are others' problems and i have to deal with it... WHY? fuck u cheebye... now... all i want to do is to take whatever remainding money that i've got and leave... just leave... go somewhere... as far away as possible. a place where i dont see, hear, smell, touch and most importantly feel anything. hm... wonder where could that be? well, on the bright side... things that dont kill u only makes u stronger... why am i put into such a torture? but its okay... i'm numb... so many scars are on me that i cant feel anything... scars over scars over scars... mend heal mend heal... ops... just broke up with my gf... hm... i guess being a nice bf aint the winning formula... tried and tested... it doesnt work... so all the guys out there? no need being super nice to ur gf. it doesnt work... not at all. oh well, i guess i havent reach the bottom of this pit yet... plenty more of freefalling to go... back to scars... i was just thinking the other day that all these strong emotions are ingrdients to someone's character. if someone's life is all vanila and nice, then whats the point. been through shit then u will know how does shit taste like... and the more u will appreciate the vanilla ice cream. its not like i dont love my gf... i love her... well, i guess its like that with girls... they just cant make up their mind... they hit everything within themselves. dont like to share. dont like to be open. want to deal with everything themselves. inevitably hurting everyone around them, esp those who are close... since they like to play a one-man-game, go ahead then. want to keep everything to urself and be selfish. dont want to share. forget it then. i think i've tried. then again, maybe its my fault. if its my fault, please someone point out to me. so that i wont make the same mistake again. why do girls always leave me? same thing happens to my first gf. super nice to her, then it just happen. haha... have been told since i was young that if u nice to someone, someone will be nice to u. so who will be nice to me? guess not, but its okay. if thats the lesson life wants to teach me, i will accept it. reciprocal rule doesnt apply to relationship. to gf, to friends to parents to everything. "happily ever after", its just a phrase that only happens in fairy tale. it always ends with happily ever after. why? cause thats what with all relationship, fairy tale in the beginning, but in the end, its always the opposite. but with mr disney being so smart, he wouldnt tell stories with sad endings. sad endings just would sell. at least not to kids. kids always like happy endings. yeah yeah... happen endings only happens in story books and movies. maybe thats why i love watching so much. because it gives a feel good feeling. once the movie ends and i step out of the cinema. *POOF* its back to reality. it hits u like a brick. mr reality will once again remind u that now u are back in the REAL WORLD and nice things like that just dont happen in the real world. i get that feeling everytime after i finish the film. suddenly the lights turn on. the cinema aint dark anymore. u can see everything so clearly. rubbish lying everywhere. the girl who is sitting beside u aint as pretty as the actress in the movie. and u urself aint the hero. no matter what u do, u still wont be able to save the world or stop the bad guy. u are just a nobody. just like the other nobodies in the same dark room. i'm still breathing the stinking hazy air. i'm still listening to 50cents rapping about girls boooze and sex... i guess u have to give it to the man who took a bullet in his face and survive huh... if i take a bullet in my face, i wonder will i be as successful as him... mr panda, i think i will go watch ur webcast now... u are really one of the nicest lecturer i've ever come across... for that sir, i will put in effort in ur module. as for digital signal processing... please, dont blame if the student is lazy... if the student dont see a point in ur module, its partly ur fault for not showing him the objective of the module, why? because who knows best other than the lecturers... i guess, if u dont give ur heart in teaching, i dont give my heart in learning... simple as that... no passion teaching produce students who have no passion in learning... in conclusion, dont give much thoughts about what i've said... its just random thoughts in my little brain when i'm doing nothing... plenty more from where that come from... so people, keep going on with ur materialistic and superficial life... chasing girls, cars, money, fame and power... i understand why... its okay... everyone is doing it, why not u?
But on the inside all he was trying to do was get away."
life, what is life... why are we being put here in this earth? why are we the only animals given the gift of intelligence? is it because we are the chosen one to travel to the far ends of the universe? or what? WHAT??? WHY??? whats the meaning of life? to work, eat, sleep and shit? or for some others it also includes sex. Intelligence has given us the ability to think. to create. to ponder. to solve problems. to do soooo many wonderful things. but at the same time, it is also the root of all problems... "why did it happen to me?" " why is it always me?" "does anyone experience what i've gone through or am i the special one?" and one of my favourite "why life is such a funny thing... first he gives u everything... making u feel like a million bucks... then all of the sudden, when u think of the shit that others or those that u see on TV is going through suddenly happens to u." yes my dear friends... one thing i have learned is that when u think u are bad enough, there is someone else in a more definitely more shittier state that u are. problems problems problems... the only domain in which i dont have problems is on the basketball court. once again, the court has become my refuge. the best thing that i can think of other than alcohol and mahjong. since i dont like to waste money on booze because i'm low enough in that aspect. same as in mahjong. i guess that leaves me with bball... funny thing... i think thats the best thing my brother has given... he has introduced me to basketball. basketball is all about balance. balance balance balance... why life is so full of unbalanced shitty stuffs. give me problems but never give me solutions... i need SOLUTIONS... but some problems are not even my problem... they are others' problems and i have to deal with it... WHY? fuck u cheebye... now... all i want to do is to take whatever remainding money that i've got and leave... just leave... go somewhere... as far away as possible. a place where i dont see, hear, smell, touch and most importantly feel anything. hm... wonder where could that be? well, on the bright side... things that dont kill u only makes u stronger... why am i put into such a torture? but its okay... i'm numb... so many scars are on me that i cant feel anything... scars over scars over scars... mend heal mend heal... ops... just broke up with my gf... hm... i guess being a nice bf aint the winning formula... tried and tested... it doesnt work... so all the guys out there? no need being super nice to ur gf. it doesnt work... not at all. oh well, i guess i havent reach the bottom of this pit yet... plenty more of freefalling to go... back to scars... i was just thinking the other day that all these strong emotions are ingrdients to someone's character. if someone's life is all vanila and nice, then whats the point. been through shit then u will know how does shit taste like... and the more u will appreciate the vanilla ice cream. its not like i dont love my gf... i love her... well, i guess its like that with girls... they just cant make up their mind... they hit everything within themselves. dont like to share. dont like to be open. want to deal with everything themselves. inevitably hurting everyone around them, esp those who are close... since they like to play a one-man-game, go ahead then. want to keep everything to urself and be selfish. dont want to share. forget it then. i think i've tried. then again, maybe its my fault. if its my fault, please someone point out to me. so that i wont make the same mistake again. why do girls always leave me? same thing happens to my first gf. super nice to her, then it just happen. haha... have been told since i was young that if u nice to someone, someone will be nice to u. so who will be nice to me? guess not, but its okay. if thats the lesson life wants to teach me, i will accept it. reciprocal rule doesnt apply to relationship. to gf, to friends to parents to everything. "happily ever after", its just a phrase that only happens in fairy tale. it always ends with happily ever after. why? cause thats what with all relationship, fairy tale in the beginning, but in the end, its always the opposite. but with mr disney being so smart, he wouldnt tell stories with sad endings. sad endings just would sell. at least not to kids. kids always like happy endings. yeah yeah... happen endings only happens in story books and movies. maybe thats why i love watching so much. because it gives a feel good feeling. once the movie ends and i step out of the cinema. *POOF* its back to reality. it hits u like a brick. mr reality will once again remind u that now u are back in the REAL WORLD and nice things like that just dont happen in the real world. i get that feeling everytime after i finish the film. suddenly the lights turn on. the cinema aint dark anymore. u can see everything so clearly. rubbish lying everywhere. the girl who is sitting beside u aint as pretty as the actress in the movie. and u urself aint the hero. no matter what u do, u still wont be able to save the world or stop the bad guy. u are just a nobody. just like the other nobodies in the same dark room. i'm still breathing the stinking hazy air. i'm still listening to 50cents rapping about girls boooze and sex... i guess u have to give it to the man who took a bullet in his face and survive huh... if i take a bullet in my face, i wonder will i be as successful as him... mr panda, i think i will go watch ur webcast now... u are really one of the nicest lecturer i've ever come across... for that sir, i will put in effort in ur module. as for digital signal processing... please, dont blame if the student is lazy... if the student dont see a point in ur module, its partly ur fault for not showing him the objective of the module, why? because who knows best other than the lecturers... i guess, if u dont give ur heart in teaching, i dont give my heart in learning... simple as that... no passion teaching produce students who have no passion in learning... in conclusion, dont give much thoughts about what i've said... its just random thoughts in my little brain when i'm doing nothing... plenty more from where that come from... so people, keep going on with ur materialistic and superficial life... chasing girls, cars, money, fame and power... i understand why... its okay... everyone is doing it, why not u?
posted by ray at 1:23 PM
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