2am...

read through all my entries from the first... man, why didnt i notice... u had this feeling since long time ago... all along... i've fail... once again as a bf... thought that this is the only thing that i might get an A in my life... i was wrong... i was forced to drop off the course... therefore i got an Withdrawal... or Did Not Complete... life sux no matter whichever side of the earth the sun is shinning down on... its u all along, its u... its u who are happy that we almost broke off the other time... u came back because u pitied me... i dont need anyone's pity! u are making me feel sick of myself... ARGH!!! i just want to stop thinking about u... stop going through old photographs... stop trying to put my memory in chronological order... stop wanting to remmeber how ur hair smells like... stop thinking about how ur face looked like under the moon light... stop trying to feel how ur skin feels like... stop wanting to hear ur voice, ur laughter, u making urself talk like ur pet, ur footstep... stop my heart from hurting everytime i think about u... stop myself from loving u... i want to stop everything... stop, just stop, just stop, just stop... stop moving, stop breathing, stop hearing, stop seeing, stop feeling... just stop...stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop... stop everything... stop this blog... and delete all my memories... all the pain i'm feeling... just stop... please... make it go away...